


Identity

by life_is_chaseprice



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 21:32:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18973135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/life_is_chaseprice/pseuds/life_is_chaseprice
Summary: Basically this was my assignment piece for University/College and I couldn't help but think of the characters as Carmilla and Laura. The only Carmilla web series characters are Carmilla and Laura other characters are purely made up as like I said it was for a random assignment. And also Carmilla is from England haha.





	Identity

**Author's Note:**

> Basically this was my assignment piece for University/College and I couldn't help but think of the characters as Carmilla and Laura. The only Carmilla web series characters are Carmilla and Laura other characters are purely made up as like I said it was for a random assignment. And also Carmilla is from England haha.

Identity

Have you ever felt confused about your own identity? If you haven’t well, I envy you. If you have then you might be able to understand what I went through. 

Let me introduce myself. My name is Laura and I am currently 25 years of age. My story starts in high school, I was 17 at the time. I wouldn’t say I was a popular kid, but my friends certainly were. I was what people would consider an outcast. You know the girl? Into things that no one else is and very much in the background of everything. But because of who I hanged out with people seemed to know who I was, surprisingly. The group consisted of my best friend Madi, her younger sister Carla and then Toni. As potentially mean this might sound, all three had that very stereotypical popular girl appearance. They all were around six feet tall, super skinny with different lengths of blonde hair and wore way too much make-up for my taste. Then there was me I was the short, five feet tall, boyish short brown hair and the only make-up I have ever touched was black eye liner that Madi taught me how to apply. I was very much the odd one out of the group if that wasn’t obvious, but they never seemed to care about that. Overall my school life was pretty good unlike some stories I have heard about other people’s time in high school. I was never bullied even though I was an outcast, but I think that’s all because I was associated with the popular girls. If I wasn’t in their group I have no doubt I would’ve had a much different experience and for that I am grateful for my friends, especially Madi. She has always looked out for me and been there in my times of need which you will also learn very soon. 

It was English class and I was reading Shakespeare with Madi when the teacher made an announcement.  
“Good morning class. Sorry to interrupt your reading of Hamlet but a new student is here to join us. Please give a warm welcome to our new transfer student from England, Carmilla”. Now if there was anyone in this world who could make your body melt with just one smirk it was her. She was something else; tall, long curly black hair, toned body, a jaw line for days and that accent, I thought I died and went to heaven when I heard her say hello to the class. 

You are probably reading this and thinking, ‘oh she is gay’, but here is the fun fact of the day; I thought I was straight. But, when I saw her face my mind flooded with so many questions. I started to question my own identity and who I was. I felt lost and confused. The real kicker though was I had a boyfriend. His name was Trent and he was a football player. Standard ‘jock’ type of guy with his broad shoulders, decent amount of muscles and highly egotistical personality. I found him relatively cute with his short brown hair and blue eyes. We had been dating for almost a year by this time and you might be wondering how an outcast like me comes to date a jock. Well to be honest I’m not sure why he chose to ask me out, but I know I said yes because I wanted to have that classic high school romance you read about and see in the movies. I can’t deny we didn’t have our issues, we had many and the main one being that I wouldn’t ‘put out’ for him. It just never felt like the right time and I just had no interest in doing that with him at all. He was rather persistent in his efforts to get me in bed and I could tell he was getting frustrated, but I really wanted my first time to be perfect. 

That day Carmilla came to our English class made me question what the true reason might’ve been why I wouldn’t give Trent what he wanted and that maybe there was something else holding me back. I remember I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. She caught me staring a few times when she turned around. My face felt red hot and I’d shy away, I swear I saw her smirk at me. The bell sounded which meant class was over. Madi already had left for lunch and I was packing up my things.  
“So, I saw you staring at me”, I jumped as I was startled.  
“Sorry their cupcake didn’t mean to scare you”, I looked up and she was staring at me with these sultry eyes. I gulped and stood in embarrassment before I could gather the words to say,  
“Ah yeah, sorry about that. I just – yeah sorry”, and before she could reply I ran off out of class.

A few days had passed since then with a few more awkward English class encounters. My friends invited me out to the movies to go see the new horror flick. We were waiting in line to get our tickets and who do I see? Carmilla. I couldn’t help but stare at her, she was wearing these leather pants that just hugged her body. I’m unsure how long I was staring but I do remember realizing she was looking straight at me and through me a wink. My heart dropped, and my face went red hot again. I got my friends to hurry so we could get into the cinema.  
“What is the big rush? Movie doesn’t start for another 20 minutes”, Madi was confused by my actions. I didn’t know what to say so I just said nothing and just rushed into the cinema as soon as I got my ticket. My friends eventually joined me once they got their popcorn and drinks. I was finally able to relax and enjoy the movie. About half way through the movie there was a rather boring scene, so my eyes wandered off the screen. That’s when I noticed that Carmilla was sitting only 3 rows down from me. I had no idea how I didn’t see her walk in but now I knew she was there I felt anxious again and could not concentrate on the movie. 

I left to go to the bathroom in quite a rush. I sat in the cubicle for a while just calming myself. I heard the door open but didn’t make anything of it, just another patron needing to use the toilet. As I exited the toilet to wash my hands there she was. Did she follow me? We stared at each other for a second before I rushed to the door. My path was blocked by her stepping in front of the door.  
“Can I please leave. I’m going to miss the movie”, I could hear my voice cracking and how nervous I sounded. I just hoped she didn’t realize as well. Before I knew it, her lips crashed onto mine. My mind went blank and it took a bit to comprehend what was happening and before I knew it I was kissing her back. My hands tangled into her hair and her arms wrapped around my waist. The door flew open and my friends came rushing in; probably because I had been missing for a while now. There stood Carmilla and I in each other’s arms. Carla and Toni immediately stormed out while Madi just kept standing there with this shocked look on her face. I grabbed Madi’s arm and left Carmilla there in the bathroom. Madi drove me home in awkward silence. When we reached my house Madi finally spoke,  
“Hey, so I am still a little confused with what I saw but I just want you to know that I am supportive of you. Sorry to take so long to finally talk I just didn’t have the words formed yet till now”, she gave me a hug and I sobbed a little into her shoulder. I was just as confused as her but also everything seemed so clear at the same time. Carmilla made me feel things I had never felt before. And the more I thought about it the more I knew what I wanted. Her.

The next day was very much the worst day of my life. I woke up to 30 missed calls from Trent and several messages from different people at school. Madi came to my house before school and rushed into my room.  
“Laura! I am so sorry”, Madi was in tears and I had no idea why.  
“Jesus Madi, what’s wrong?”, I hugged her as she cried into my shoulder.  
“I tried to stop them, but Carla and Toni told everyone what they saw last night at the movies. They told everyone that you were making out with the new girl”. Immediately my body froze from fear. My secret was out, and I didn’t even realize till last night I had this secret. I had to go to school and face this.  
I arrived at school and Trent was waiting for me outside the gates. He immediately grabbed me,  
“What the fuck? You’re gay?”, he is yelling at me as he tightly holds my arm. I try to pull away, but he grabs tighter.  
“You’re hurting me”. I try very hard to pull away, but he wouldn’t let go.  
“I can’t believe this. I am telling your parents and see how they like it when they find out their daughter is a dyke”. He pushes me into the wall and storms off. 

I didn’t see Carmilla at school that day. I spent the day with Madi. It seemed that our group of 4 was now down to just the 2 of us. I can’t say I fully understand why Carla and Toni did what they did, but I do know it was unforgivable.  
After school I went home, and I see all my belongings have been thrown onto the front yard. My mum is on the front porch when she sees me she starts screaming,  
“You are not welcome here. No daughter of mine will live here as a dyke”, she continues throwing my stuff onto the yard.  
“Mum! Please!”, I run up to her and try to reach for her arm. She hits me across the face and leaves me out there alone. I start breaking down in tears as I gather my stuff. I end up calling Madi and she helps me gather my stuff. Madi let me stay at her place and she held me throughout the night as I cried. In the morning I explained to her parents what had happened, and they took me in as their own. They accepted me for who I was unlike my own parents. 

I didn’t speak to Carmilla again for at least a week. I didn’t really know what to say and was still dealing with my whole life being turned upside down. I eventually got the courage to talk to her.  
“Hey. Before you say anything I just wanted to say that I am sorry that I have been ignoring you. A lot has happened since that night”. I was staring at the ground awkwardly holding my arm. Carmilla noticed the bruise on my arm that Trent had left and reached out to touch it. She softly strokes my arm and I tried to hold back tears.  
“I did hear what happened with that guy and your parents. Word travels fast in this school. You don’t need to apologize for taking your time to talk to me. You have been through a lot and I just wanted to be there for you”. Her hand came to my chin and she raised my head up. She looked into my eyes and placed a soft kiss upon my lips. With that I knew that everything would be ok. Even more than ok, things were going to be amazing if I had her in my life.


End file.
